Halloween – a Fantasy Come to Life?

Sexy CorsetWe all love a good fantasy! That’s why we go to the movies, see a play, or read an exciting book.

But we don’t usually get a chance to live out those fantasies. Perhaps that’s why Halloween costumes are so popular for adults. When I was a kid, usually only children dressed up in costume.

I recently checked a big on-line costume retailer, and they had 3300 adult costumes available, compared to only 2000 for children. Evidently costumes for adults sell better than costumes for the kids!

Fictional Characters & Sexy Heroes

What is it about fictional characters and heroes that’s so much fun to act out? The characters must touch on some universal sensibility that resonates in all of us. But why so many police officers, fire fighters, and nurse costumes, our real life heroes and heroines? Although Halloween is just ‘play,’ I think a lot of people often want to be something bigger or better than we are in real life. Just as we want the protagonists in books and movies to become a better person, and are inspired by that, I think people often choose to be characters that have qualities they want to emulate. Or sometimes they want to explore a crazy or gruesome aspect of life that’s usually off-limits.

Men like the Fantasy Too

That same costume shop had 1723 different costumes for women. No surprise there. But they offered almost 1700 costumes for the men! Women have more leeway in our everyday dress to be flamboyant or outrageous. We can wear any color clothes we wish, and have a huge diversity of styles to reflect our personalities. Men don’t have those options. (But they don’t have the stress of all those choices either!) Even though there are more choices now than years ago, men still have only half as many colors available for their clothing. And while women can wear anything from very feminine styles to rather masculine ones, men have limited options. So it’s no wonder men like the opportunity to break out of their limited mold and wear something fun or crazy.

Sexier & Sexier

Why do women’s costumes keep getting sexier and skimpier? I’ve read comments in lately, by both men and women, that it’s gone too far, the costumes are too slutty. But stores wouldn’t be showing these wild costumes if no one was buying them. Fiction books have become steamier and more explicit too, I think that’s one aspect of our personalities we as women too often shut down. Once we’re in a relationship, women are expected to be sexy for their partners, but not the rest of the time. We have to turn it off at work, at school, and certainly as mothers or caregivers. We get so good at shutting down that part of ourselves, that many of us turn to a sexy novel or movie to reawaken our sexuality. But this one time of year, we can let down our guards, and our necklines, and dress like a vixen. For many couples, that little bit of sexual freedom, and the fantasies inspired by these costumes, does wonders for their sex lives. And I’m sure the titillation of seeing others dressed in revealing costumes just adds to the fun.

Have We Gone Too Far?

Since before recorded history, humans have had festivals and celebrations where a certain amount of excess is not just tolerated, but encouraged. It’s in our nature. It allows us to express ourselves in different ways, and gives us a little reprieve from the constraints of everyday life. And if everyone enjoys it, why not?

 

How to Keep Your Boyfriend Happy – Part 1

couple walking on beach togetherHow do you keep a boyfriend happy? Is it the same as keeping a girlfriend happy? Well, some of the basic rules of good relationships are the same, like treating each other with respect and being considerate of his or her feelings. But there are some areas that men tend to think of quite differently. The 2 big ones are: talking about feelings, and the ideal amount of dependence versus independence.

In this post, I’ll discuss the dreaded “Oh no, do we have to talk about feelings?” These suggestions would be useful in any relationship, with your parents, your children or your friends, but are especially critical with a boyfriend.

When you need to talk about your feelings or ask about his, make certain it’s not a time when he’s feeling pressured or rushed. If he’s about to watch his favorite game, he’ll feel even more unhappy about the discussion if you’re making him miss some of it to humor you. I take advantage of a long drive to check in with my husband about his future plans and his feelings.

Some men appreciate getting an advance warning that you want to talk, and being given a chance to pick the time when he can be prepared to open up and talk. Others may flake out or put it off if given their choice. It’s definitely worth a try to ask, “When this weekend (or today) would be a good time for you and me to talk about some concerns I have?”

When you have his attention, don’t attack him. “You always…” is guaranteed to put him on the defensive. Plan ahead of time another way to say it, putting it all in terms of how you feel, using the word “I.” So instead of “you never have time for me” you could say “I feel left out.” Instead of ‘you ignore my opinions” you could try “I feel like my opinions are not being considered.” If he won’t let you finish, ask for two minutes without interruption, and then give him the same.

After you voice your concerns, you must stop talking and listen to his response. Really listen. Give him the courtesy that you’d like in return. Some men don’t speak right away, preferring to consider their response before speaking. Honor that by waiting patiently.

If one or both of you gets too angry or defensive, or if you feel like you’re stuck with no way to improve things, suggest you give it a rest and return to these issues at another time with a fresh perspective. If the discussion moves in a positive direction, with both parties listening and trying to understand the other, that’s great! Keep working together to sort things out and make mutually agreed-on improvements.

Next post I’ll address the issue of too much clinging!

 

Hot Snippet from Power Play

Erotic Romance Novella Power PlayThis snippet, from my hot novella Power Play, is for adults only! In this scene, Liz is giving Sergio a tour of her house, both are naked, and Liz’s hands are bound behind her back:

Hands at her neck and the small of her back, he sat her upright. As he lifted her down, her breast swept against him and his hard cock pressed into her leg. The sudden contact stole her breath. He froze a moment, then sent her on her way with another swat on her bare bottom.
She got the idea and headed through the door into the kitchen.
“Ah, what a wonderful kitchen,” he said behind her. “And it certainly would be an appropriate place to dine, but I’d like a little more artistic atmosphere. Besides, I’d probably get carried away with all the condiments in your fridge, not to mention all the interesting torture implements—I mean, cooking implements.”
In case he wasn’t kidding, Liz hurried toward the door as best as she could with her wrists behind her back.
“Wait a minute,” he called as she stepped out of the room. She turned, but didn’t step back over the threshold. “Aren’t you going to offer me something cold to drink? No manners.”
She made a face at him. “How am I supposed to serve you? With my feet?”
He slowly dragged his eyes from her feet all the way up to her mouth, his gaze heating each spot it touched. “Oh, you’ll serve me with your entire body.” His sexual tone and all its implications made her shiver.
He pulled his gaze from her lips. “A cold drink is definitely needed.”
“There’s iced tea in the fridge, and champagne if you’d like.”
“Yes, champagne would be ideal. And ice water for when we get overheated.” He opened the large stainless steel door and considered. “There are two kinds of champagne. Which do you prefer?”
“Dom Perignon. Or whatever you want.”
He closed the door and approached her, tipping her chin so she’d meet his eyes. “What I want is for you to do exactly as I say. When I ask you a question, you must answer directly and honestly. Is that clear?”
“Yes.”
“Will you do my bidding?”
“Yes.”
“Are you prepared to do whatever it takes to please me?”
She gulped. “Yes.”
“Good.” He grinned. “I could get used to this.”
His hot cock touched her stomach, and that slight friction ignited a small inferno.
“We’d better eat soon,” he murmured. “I can’t wait much longer for dessert.”

Read “Power Play” on Amazon now!

Read “Power Play” on Barnes & Noble now!

Can an Alpha Male be Sensitive?

Sexy Man

When I first began writing the erotic romance Power Play, I knew that Sergio, my hero, was artistic and very sensual. And in the story, he’d discover he was a dominant. But he also is warm and sensitive. I never categorized him in my mind, or in the promo material I wrote when I sold the book, as anything other than a dominant and a “sensual artist.”

Then when it went up on sale on Amazon, I saw readers tagged the story with the term “Alpha Male.” That made me wonder, was he an alpha male? I hadn’t really thought of that. He’s sweet and polite and considerate. Alphas are typically considered rough around the edges–a wounded heart inside, with a tough skin outside that keeps them from having to feel others’ pain. Can a sensitive man still be an alpha?

On the other hand, he is clearly a dominant. That leads to another pertinent question, are all dominants automatically alphas?  Read more…

 

How to Kiss Well

Funky Kisser

  • Has the kissing in your relationship gotten stale or boring?

 

  • Now that you are intimate, do the kissing and necking get forgotten? Or rushed on the way to the big act?

 

  • Maybe you’d like to learn some kissing tips, or don’t know how to tongue kiss, or french kiss. Here are some suggestions on how to kiss well.

Isn’t Kissing Just Foreplay?

No. If you take your time with the kissing, you’ll improve the romantic connection between the two of you, and improve the relationship. Look into your lover’s eyes, show how you feel about him or her, and savor the moment. Sometimes you can’t wait and have to grab each other, and that’s fun too. But if you find you’re not spending enough time kissing,

Kissing with Eyes Open or Closed?

That’s a matter of personal preference. I’d recommend kissing with eyes closed for two reasons. First, removing the visual sensations helps you focus on and enjoy the other senses–the touch of the lips, and the scent and taste of your lover. Also, looking at your partner during the kiss can make him or her feel self-conscious. Of course you want to keep eye contact all the way until the moment of lip contact, and it’s really delicious to see your partner’s face right afterwards.

Kiss Hard or soft?

That’s a tricky question. Some people prefer light soft kisses, while others get turned on by the intensity of a hard demanding kiss. I think the best bet is to start slowly. It’s not a race. Even if you’ve been dying to kiss this special someone, a soft sensuous first kiss is a terrific warm-up before you dive in for a deep one. Guys especially have to remember to be gentle with a woman until she gives you an indication that she’d prefer otherwise.

How to Tongue Kiss (French Kiss)

A good rule of etiquette is to test the waters, so to speak. When you first kiss someone, there should be a lot of give and take. If you want to French kiss, first open your mouth slightly–if he or she matches it, trace your lover’s lips with the tip of your tongue. If that is welcome, then you may take it further.

Fresh and Clean Kissing

Of course you want to keep your mouth fresh and clean to kiss. Should you skip onions and garlic at dinner? Yes, unless you are both having them. Always keep in mind when you are eating something that’s unpleasant to the person you want to kiss, and be certain to brush or eat mints afterwards. Smokers need to be doubly careful if they want to kiss a non-smoker.

As in other aspects of a relationship, the best way to kiss well is to be mindful of the preferences of your partner. And remember, kissing is more than just a physical thing, there’s emotion to the motion. Check out a previous blog on the Ways to Kiss to see how to send the message you want when you kiss a man or a woman.

Six Sentence Sunday #3

Erotic Romance Novella Power PlayThis is from my hot new novella “Power Play.” The woman of his dreams has just appeared at the most awkward moment:

Sergio released her hand and turned away. Without her warm touch, a cold fear slipped in. This was the moment he’d been waiting for, his chance of a lifetime, and now he had to face her.

What to do? The alternating fear and lust clashing in his body pushed him to the edge of his control. His legs twitched, wanting to flee the room till he could think clearly again.

To find out more about “Power Play” go to my web site www.ChellesieBDancer.com

And check out some other fabulous authors taking part in Six Sentence Sunday.

Power Play Excerpt

In Power Play, a seductive brat tempts a sexy artist to risk his one shot at partnership for a fling with her. But when he takes control, who will come out on top?

Sergio needs to make partner in the ad firm before he turns thirty, and his last chance is getting a huge new account with an underwear magnate. He’s focused all his time and energy on this presentation, until he meets a beautiful woman in the parking garage.

Liz is hugely successful in business, but not so successful in her relationships. She wants a man who finds her attractive for herself, not her money. She encounters an artistic and sexy man who takes control and that triggers a submissive reaction in her.

The attraction heightens, and Liz teases Sergio until he turns dominant. Once he discovers who she is, he plots his payback, controlling her body, her emotions, and her sexual pleasure. After a glorious night of sensational sex, the real control battle begins. Who will end up on top during the day, and during the night?

EXCERPTErotic Romance Novella Power Play

No way he’d fail this time, Sergio thought as he pulled into the parking garage an hour early. After years of honing his competitive edge, he wouldn’t go soft again. He locked his burgundy Civic, flipped the keys into his pocket and slung his suit coat over a shoulder. With his other accounts sacrificed to his coworkers, nothing could distract him from nailing this presentation and finally making partner, just in time.
Heading to the elevator, he saw a profile in the dim light–the silhouette of her flirty dress, her Grecian nose, and her high cheek bones set against the harsh light behind her. Poetic.
She turned and caught him staring. “Did I forget to put on clothes?”
The amusement in her voice stirred him back into motion. As he neared, he saw long strawberry-blond hair and caught his breath. A gorgeous figure and a red-head too? Damn! “Sorry, didn’t mean to stare. I was just captivated by the classic lines of your face… and, uh, dress. It’s just–your silhouette was so lovely against the glare of that bulb.”
She smiled. “You’re an artist.”
He shrugged. “Well, a graphic artist.”
“An artist nonetheless.” Her tone suggested she was accustomed to being correct. “Art is art.”
“I’d like to make art with you.” Damn, he didn’t mean that. Well he meant it, just didn’t mean to say it. Something about her made him to want to strip her nude and pose her in a hundred classic poses. And take her in every one of them.
“Really?” She couldn’t contain her wickedly sexy smile. “Let me guess, you paint nudes?”
Damn, was he that obvious? She watched him in anticipation. Was she flirting with him?
“No, I don’t paint nudes.” A flicker of disappointment in her eyes. “But now that you’ve suggested it, I think it’s a great idea. When are you available?”
An eyebrow raised, then her mouth tightened. “I’m a very busy woman. I’ll have to check my schedule.”
Busy how? A gorgeous woman like that, how many men did she have in her life? Brushing aside that unsettling thought, he forged ahead. He’d never met a woman who intrigued him like this, and he wasn’t gonna let her run away. “We’re all busy. Let me know when you have an opening and I’ll clear my schedule to fit you in.” After he’d said it he noticed the double entendre.
She must have gotten it, because she looked away. “It might be a while till I can find the time.”
So she wanted to play coy. That’s all right, he was determined, he’d persist till she gave in. He approached her, instinctively summoning his most authoritative voice.
“Make the time.”
Her eyes widened for a split second before hardening into slits. “Oh, do you think I do anything that a man tells me to do?”
Her scathing tone was meant to put him in his place. Instead it made him bolder. He stepped closer–too close–and that felt good. “No, of course not.” He moved again. An inch from her breasts. The electrical charge from invading her space zinged through his body. “Just anything I tell you to do.”
Her mouth fell open and her eyes got steamy. It felt as though that electrical charge from his body had surrounded her and drawn her in. She was his.
The elevator doors rumbled open behind her. As she stumbled back, he stepped forward and held them for her. She nodded her thanks, and turned. The soft turquoise fabric draped like silk over her curvy hips as she passed him, and he wanted to slide his hand along those curves. As she tapped the button, he darted a quick glance at her fingers–no ring. This was his lucky day.
She fled to the far corner, almost against the wall. He envisioned himself pressing her against that wall, lifting her skirt and taking her right here in the elevator. His cock was flooded and hard, ready to take control. He shook his head slightly, trying to get blood flow back to his brain. Think. Gotta do something. Appropriate.

Beer or Girly drink with an umbrella? Girly drink with a wild name (especially with Crème de Menthe or Midori)

Vanilla or chocolate? Chocolate. Or Vanilla with Chocolate sauce. Or Vanilla with Strawberries. I’m just not a plain vanilla.

Hugs or Kisses? What about licks? And nibbles?

Boxers, briefs or commando? That’s a hard one. May I see all the options again?

Steak or sushi? Sushi (but I always like a taste of his Teriyaki Beef…)

Jeans or stilettos? Stilettos go with everything. Or nothing at all.

Quiet dinner in front of the fire or hot night on the town? How about dinner on the town, then a hot night in front of the fire?

Tropical beach or mountain cabin? I have a mountain cabin, so a Tropical Beach makes a better fantasy

Elegant fop or rough-edged rogue? Elegant man in public, wild rogue in private

Cop or Fireman? Can’t decide—a fireman sounds hot, but a cop has handcuffs…

Do you check out Abs or Ass? Ass

Rough and ready Cowboy or Corporate big-wig in a sharp suit? A shirtless construction worker with a nice set of tools (Yes, I’m not very good at following the rules!)

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Chellesie B. Dancer enjoys writing contemporary, historical, and erotic love stories with a sprinkling of comedy. The women in her books dare to ask for their desires, so they truly will be satisfied ever after. Chellesie lives on top of a hill overlooking the smog of sunny Southern California. Other than writing, she entertains at parties as an M.C., a paleontologist’s assistant, and occasionally a dancing gorilla. She’s the mother of three beautiful boys and an assortment of other critters. Luckily her husband cooks!
Her motto: Be careful what you wish for… you just might get it!

 

Buy Links:

Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B006RW91Q4/ref=cm_sw_r_tw_dp_jbqapb0C2DMGC

Barnes & Noble: http://click.linksynergy.com/fs-bin/click?id=DfQdldsfxvU&subid=&offerid=239662.1&type=10&tmpid=8433&RD_PARM1=http%253A%252F%252Fwww.barnesandnoble.com%252Fw%252Fpower-play-chellesie-b-dancer%252F1108113047

Chellesie’s Links:

Web site: www.ChellesieBDancer.com

www.facebook.com/chellesieb

http://twitter.com/chellesieb

Blog: www.GetLoveHelp.com

Smutketeers Contest:

What’s the sexist Valentine’s Day treat you’d like to get? Comment her to enter, winner will be selected on January 31st.

Winner will receive a Naughty Nights kit: 4 Red Silky Restraints, a 7″ bar of Godiva Milk Chocolate (in this case, size matters!) and a Do Not Disturb sign, with sexy suggestions on the back!

Six Sentence Sunday #2 – Power Play

This is toward the beginning of my hot new novella “Power Play” when that sexy mystery woman appears at his work just before the biggest presentation of his career:

   Would they keep him waiting? “I don’t know…”Erotic Romance Novella Power Play
“I do, trust me.” She tossed aside her suit jacket, leaving the white lacy top. Wait–the top was sheer and plain–it was the bra showing through that was white and lacy, with red nipples. He sucked in a breath–her bra had the nipple area cut out, and he could plainly see her nipples, hard and ready, struggling to escape through the sheer fabric.

To find out more about “Power Play” go to my web site www.ChellesieBDancer.com

And check out some other fabulous authors taking part in Six Sentence Sunday.

Six Sentence Sunday #1

This is the opening of my hot new novella “Power Play.”

     No way he’d fail this time, Sergio thought as he pulled Erotic Romance Novella Power Playinto the parking garage an hour early. After years of honing his competitive edge, he wouldn’t go soft again. He locked his burgundy Civic, flipped the keys into his pocket and slung his suit coat over a shoulder. With his other accounts sacrificed to his coworkers, nothing could distract him from nailing this presentation and finally making partner, just in time.

Heading to the elevator, he saw a profile in the dim light–the silhouette of her flirty dress, her Grecian nose, and her high cheek bones set against the harsh light behind her–poetic.

She turned and caught him staring.

To find out more about “Power Play” go to my web site www.ChellesieBDancer.com

And check out some other fabulous authors taking part in Six Sentence Sunday.

Write What You Know?

One woman's fantasy is another's reality...

“Have you tried all those things you write about?” they ask with a snicker. Such is the life of the erotica writer. Well I had fun answering that in my biography. But people don’t ask suspense writers that question. An author friend of mine who writes steamy stories answers, “Absolutely, I try everything I write about. When my villain cuts off someone’s hand, I make sure I have experience doing it.” And what about the paranormal and science fiction writers?

But on the other hand (the one still attached), you do have to have some experiences in life, some firsthand knowledge, to be able to write well. If you’ve never had a sexual encounter, you couldn’t write believably about it. Just as you have to have experienced some anger, heartbreak, and disillusionment to write a believable villain, you have to have been in love and felt lust to write about them. The bottom line is that it’s the emotions that have to be real for readers to identify with the characters.

But then there are the details. Personal knowledge is helpful, but there’s always research. Right now, the amount of information available to us all, writers and readers, is astonishing. I’ve written dozens of stories, many steamy, but this is the first one that specifically deals with sensual bondage. Although I’m not in the BDSM lifestyle, I’ve learned a bit about it. I’ve felt that marvelous sense of abandon that submissives feel. Anyone can try sensual bondage at home. And I’ve learned a lot from people I know, from non-fiction books I’ve read on the subject, and also from fiction.

Yes, I’ve learned about BDSM, and even about sex in general, from reading erotic romance. Sure, they’re fantasy. No doubt about it. But many stories explore sexuality in a way that allows readers not only to live vicariously, but to get an insight into other techniques and experiences. Writers like Eden Bradley (aka Eve Berlin) bring their real-life experiences from the BDSM world into their fiction. (And don’t you wonder if Angela Knight has had some personal experience with a sexy vampire?)

So instead of write what you know, some say to write what you know or are willing to learn. That’s good advice. I say read a good story and you can learn that way too!